Why don't garden centres sell garden things?

Wanted to buy some seeds for the garden last week - so naturally we went to a garden centre - where else - but they didn't have any - nor spring bulbs for that matter - seems you can buy anything from a cup and saucer to a children's game and from plastic flowers to plastic wellies - but things for the garden like seeds and bulbs - nope! Hopefully once Christmas is over they will replace the Christmas decs, lights and plastic trees with something more suitable for a garden centre. More probably they will replace them with plastic Easter Eggs. Why don't shops sell what they are supposed to sell?

No life's lesson from this other than if you've got some seeds for sale you could make a fortune! In the meantime I'm off to the lingerie shop to buy the Starters Guide to Scaffolding book.

If all else fails - don't read the manual!

I admit that I often don't read manuals - at least not until I'm totally confused - and sometimes that's quite quickly - especially if I'm trying to build something like a piece of flat packed furniture. But sometimes "instructions" are just so wonderful. Friends James and Dana gave me a mug at the weekend with "I (heart) Spreadsheets" on the front and on the box there were "instructions" (I kid you not).

The "Instructions for use" read "Fill up mug with beverage of choice. Drink"

I'm so glad they did that otherwise I would have never worked it out!

Reminds me of when I got stuck in USA (thanks to plane delays) with no luggage - so I ended up going to the local shopping mall in Philadelphia to buy some pants - and the pack had instructions for use on them! It said, "place left foot through garment, then put right foot through, pull over knees, up to waist. Stand with hands on hips and feel good"! No joke - it really did.

And I followed the instructions to the letter - but it didn't work. You see it never said "Remove trousers..." first - so I ended up looking like Superman but with boxers on!

And the lesson here - sometimes common sense is more valuable than written instructions!

O dear what can the matter be, David Morgan's locked in the lavatory!!

Yes - actually happened - I got locked in the loo! It was Saturday night and I had popped into the loo - and hadn't locked the door - never do - but just shut it - but when I came to turn the handle to get out it just turned and turned and turned! As it happened my mobile was still in a pouch on my belt so I was able to call my wife who was watching "Strictly..." downstairs. She didn't believe me! So I had to persuade her to come up the stairs and try the door. Only then did she accept that I wasn't just trying to stop her watching "Strictly..."!

Eventually, once we had removed the spindle and she had passed me a nail file through the spindle hole I was able to partly push the latch in as she pushed the door and I was free!!

But it did make me wonder - suppose that had happened when she had gone to a dog show, was going to be out all day, the dogs were loose in the run (and would have started barking), and I had somewhere to go? I could have been in there for hours.

So the moral (and lesson) is - either keep a rope ladder in the loo - or more sensibly - don't shut the door especially when you're on your own.

Value what you have Part 2

On October 5th I wrote "Value what you have" as I talked about my father in law as he was ill in hospital. Sadly one month later, on Friday November 5th he passed away. He will be (he is) sadly missed.

Dave

I need a hobby!!

Some might say Beloved is my hobby - and as much as I love her and agree, it doesn't quite solve the problem! You see in a conversation with sis-in-law last Sunday, when we were talking about her (and Beloved's) father, who is sadly suffering from dementia, she said maybe it was because when he gave up work (at the grand old age of 80) he had no other interests, so his brain hasn't been active - and that allowed the dementia to set in!

Now I haven't submitted that to the Lancet yet, and some people will say my brain hasn't been active for years - but it did make me think about my own situation. You see Beloved has her dogs, and her garden and her love of reading - and I've got - well - Spider Solitaire on the PC!!!

OK I like music, and I do a bit in the garden - but under her guidance - wouldn't have a clue where to start if she didn't direct me - and now the TVR has gone - I don't really have any "hobbies" as such. I've all but given up running (bad back), I'm worse than Frank Spencer at DIY and I'm just not into dog showing (sorry love).

So in preparation for when I eventually give up work (not THAT far away) I need to start a hobby. I've tried painting (I'm rubbish), collecting (no space), writing (no-one reads the books/poems etc I have already written, so why write more), dress making (got very funny looks) and brass rubbing (which I only took up because I thought it was rubbing bra's) and Beloved has refused me permisson to buy a set of bagpipes! So what's left - work and preaching! Neither of which I could really call a hobby.

So answers on a postcard please, to what my hobby should be, to David Morgan, c/o the Home for the Slightly Disturbed...

Lesson: Start a hobby when you're young - and stick to it!!

Quality - what quality?

What's happened to quality today? Most large companies have Quality Control departments, most products are CE marked and many manufacturers and suppliers are ISO approved (which in theory means quality!).

So why is this laptop PC - that I bought less than 2 months ago - causing me problems with dropping into "sleep" mode often halfway through a sentence?

And why did one of the CD's I bought from HMV at the weekend not work?

And the third (things happen in 3's) was a Binatone phone that I bought on Saturday specifically to use on conference calls handsfree. It had a large notice stating that it had hands free facility. The hands free facility was absolute rubbish. Could hardly hear anything and the instructions had words that were not English (and not any othe language either - absolute jibberish). And even when the instructions were in English they were not correct.

Why can't I buy something that actually works?

Not sure what my lesson is from this - other than if you expect everything you buy to fail then occasionally you might just have a pleasant surprise (or am I just being cynical)?!

Are apples really good for us?

Trying to pick some apples off our apple tree after work tonight - using a ladder and a platform - and still nearly fell off - wouldn't be the first time - I once fell off a ladder whilst sawing through a branch - and yes - I was holding on to the branch at the time- Doh!

So maybe apples aren't that good for us (me) anyway! Lesson: Sometimes we take risks that just aren't necessary - in future I think I'll wait until they fall off the tree!

Hoarding

Been helping clear out some of Pa-in-law's papers whilst he is in hospital - he's a dreadful hoarder! Mind you that's the pot calling the kettle black because so am I! I even have a wardrobe in the garage to keep things in (hasn't everyone?!) and in that wardrobe is one box labelled "Things I don't know what to do with but don't want to throw away!" What's in there? Can't remember - but clearly no point in opening the box because I won't throw anything away inside it!

Why do we all hoard so much? My lesson today is to learn to throw more away. So I'm starting with my clothes. Having recently left the company that I worked for for 12 years under redundancy, I got all their logo'd shirts into a pile and...put them in a drawer (they could be useful in the garden!!!!) 

I HATE queues!

Coming out of Webbs Garden Centre early this evening there was a queue of traffic on the main road and no-one - but no-one would let me in. They came round the Webbs island as if their lives depended upon staying as close to the car in front and not allowing one more car in.

What a load of plonkers (actually I used another word which still ended "...kers"). They didn't really gain much - three of them were turning right at the next island and while they waited I passed them on the inside as I was turning left, and the other one then turned into a housing estate, so wasn't going anywhere anyway!

So all the aggressive driving on their part was a total waste of energy and effort. What's happened to manners? Does it really matter if you are 30 seconds (or less) later home? Would it have hurt them to let me in? Of course not.

My lesson for today - treat others as you want to be treated (especially when you're driving)

PS - Please don't tell Beloved I have just written this because if you do she'll quote it at me next time I don't let someone in!! Then I'll have to say, "Ah! But this is a different situation!" - and she will ask "Why?" and I'll have to explain exactly why...and I won't know the answer!!!

Thanks!

Had a little parcel in the post today - from O2 - it said ""A big thanks. Or rather, lots of little ones. For being with us over 10 years. We think you're remarkable." In the parcel were 8 very small squares of chocolate.
 First reactions:
1. Mean gits! 8 bits of chocolate when I have paid them loads over 10 years!
2. Am I "remarkable" for staying with them for 10 years (can't think why else). Does that mean I'm the only one - otherwise everyone is remarkable! And does that make me an idiot for not changing and getting a better deal?
 Second reactions:
1. At least they said thanks!
2. Oh well - maybe I could have got a better deal elsewhere - never mind - the company that just made me redundant paid all those bills - so do I care? I've got 8 pieces of chocolate...and I have just got a better deal with them for myself!
 Lesson - never forget to say thank you - doesn't matter if it's a very small thank you - there is nothing worse than being taken for granted. Off to share my chocs with Beloved. Hopes she says "thank you" when I give her a piece!

Value what you have!

I read a short story tonight written by one E.W. Hornung who died in 1921 and who was the brother in law to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It was called “A Bowler’s Innings” and was about an old cricketer who was once a renown bowler but was coming to the end of his earthly “innings” and was clearly not the person he once was. A younger man, who had been a great fan of the old bowler in years past, stumbled upon him when he was ill in bed and clearly didn’t have long to go, but this young man was so thrilled at being able to share a few weeks with this well-known and respected cricketer that his enthusiasm reinvigorated the old bowler during his last few weeks of life. It was a comical yet poignant story.

It made me think of my father in law who is really struggling with dementia and is clearly not the same man that he used to be. He also was once a cricketer, a bowler of some note, and, according to some reports, could well have played county cricket for Worcestershire if it hadn’t been for the war. He is 89 later this month and although not necessarily at the end of his earthly innings yet, is beginning to lose his sense of reality and therefore becoming difficult to communicate with.

The young man in the story made the most of his short time with the ageing bowler. We should make the most of the time we have with our relatives and friends for it won’t last forever.

Here endeth the third lesson!!

Man flu strikes!

Ok - so it's only a cold - but I HATE having a cold! AND I've got a bad back - probably as a result of a wrestling match with a very large Buddleia root about a week ago. Bloomin' thing (actually it had stopped bloomin'!) wouldn't come out and Beloved wanted it removed, so we (me and it - not me and Beloved) spent 2 1/2 hours in a fond embrace, pushing and pulling (and digging and sawing!). Eventually I won, but I think my back lost!

My lesson for the day? Employ a gardener!! No - not really - but I think my lesson is that as bad as I have felt today - there is always someone in more pain, more distress (and probably with a runnier nose!!). So I'm not really as bad as I could be - and I need to be thankful for that.

(Feel like I should finish with "Amen"!)

First post

Welcome to my blog - can't believe I'm doing this at my age - still - as no-one will read it, why not - sort of diary really. Anyone who recognises "Morgan's Mutterings" will know I used to write under that name for the TVR Car Club magazine. The idea of this blog is to look at the world - but not too seriously - and maybe learn some lessons from it.

So first lesson - went to a gig last night by Viva Santana (tribute band). They were amazing. From where I was sitting one of the band looked like they should have been serving at Focus DIY store, one looked like he would have been happier sawing a plank of wood in two and another looked like a real geezer from down the pub - and with apologies to all concerned because they were actually amazing and truly talented musicians - so never judge someone by their appearance - it's what's inside that counts!

Oh - and a second lesson from this - always sit closer to the stage or remember to take your glasses!!