Saturday 30 April 2011

The strange things people wear...

Anyone watching the Royal Wedding yesterday can't help but have noticed some of the strange hat creations (amongst other things), but I guess most of the guest outfits were fairly "formal" or perhaps should that read "traditional".

Not the same today when I went for a long (about 14 miles) walk on the Bham/Worcester canal. The first one was as I was approaching a bridge with a lock the other side, so through the arch of the bridge I could see the lock gate, the walls either side, and on the left hand side a pair of feet and lower legs - with nothing on.

That's not that strange - people wear shorts on the canal. But as I got closer I could see more naked legs - indeed 2 complete naked legs! As I continued to walk under the bridge the rest of the person came into view - dressed in nothing but a VERY high cut one piece swimming cossie, in flourescent lime green, with the narrowest of straps and that must have been VERY uncomfortable around the rear end area!

Wouldn't have been a bad sight - except this was a bloke! Oh - and he was wearing a captain's hat as well!

I hurried past!

Then a bit further on was a very big guy (with an equally big lady). He was wearing shorts, a Harley Davidson t-shirt and a very posh and polished top hat!

I wonder wether both where on their way back from the Palace...??

Friday 8 April 2011

Recession - what recession?

Took the oldies out today - they offered to pay for lunch - trouble is we went to a garden centre and the queue for food was horrendous - and the place was already full (and the smell wasn't brilliant - at least for a veggie) - so went to another one that was much nicer - and there was a queue for tables again - and that was a Friday - not a weekend.

Third time lucky and we went to a pub in the end.

So if there is a recession why are so many people eating out on a Friday lunchtime?

PS saw a great birthday card in the garden centre - two penquins talking...

P1: Have you bought anything for the wife's birthday Eric?
P2: Yes - a belt and a bag.
P1: She'll like that.
P2: She should do....

....the vacuum cleaner hasn't worked for weeks!

Saturday 2 April 2011

Building Societies drive me mad!

So Thursday was Frustrating - but so was Friday. Next week is the deadline for ISAs and although I had added the requisite amount to mine we couldn't do Di's because hers was a fixed interest that we couldn't add to - so we needed to start a new one. So called the Halifax to ask for an appointment to set one up for her. No appointments available today - can do tomorrow (sorry - we can't - Di at a dog show) - or next Monday or Tuesday (nope - I'm working away).

So I was about to say "Don't worry - we'll open one with Nationwide" when she said that if we were transferring the money from another Halifax account we could do it over the phone. "Great" says I "that's exactly what we are wanting to do!"

Now I should explain that we did have a high rate saver account in Halifax that we had saved in for years but the rate had now dropped to something like 0.00000000000000001%, so we had decided to use that money to top up our 2 ISA's. You can save up to £5,100 and we had just under £10k in there so when we topped up mine in December we asked the girl to leave £5,100 in there so we could open a new one for Di later, put the rest in my ISA and I would add the missing amount to make it up to £5,100. So that's what we did.

Or rather that's what we should have did! But Miss Cashier got it wrong and by the time she had finished we had £5,096 and a few pennies left - not £5,100. Never mind.

So when we set up Di's ISA by phone we said we wanted to transfer the complete balance from that account into her ISA and close the old account. So there should have been some interest.

"Yes there is", says the phone adviser, "with the interest in brings the amount to £5,100.50.

"Fine," we said, "transfer the £5,100 and you can put the 50p into your charity funding.

"Not allowed to do that," came the reply

"OK," we said, "we understand, " then transfer the £5,100 and leave the 50p in the account"

"Not allowed to do that," came the reply, "you have to have a minimum of £1 in the account!"

So in the end we transferred what was in there and left the interest on the account.

Why do they make it so difficult? It's our money - if I want to leave 50p in the account why not? What happened to the idea that the customer was (occasionally) right?!

Frustrating Thursday

Do you ever have one of those days when whatever you do just doesn't work? Thursday was one of those days. We went to Kidderminster to buy just two items - a piece of software from PC World and a phone from Comet - easy - especially as I have seen them both in there before.

So into PC World - can't find the software - checked where it should be - nope - just a blank shelf. Beloved suggests we should ask someone - so we asked a young girl who looked totally dumbfounded that someone had actually asked her a question - so she had to ask someone else.

Mr Man then comes over and says "You're looking for the Photoshop Elements 9 - right?"

"Yes", says I, "but there are none on the shelf."

But Mr Man treats me like a complete idiot and says "They're on this shelf" - and promptly goes to the same shelf that I did - and finds - NOTHING! Didn't he believe me? Did he think I was a total idiot?

So he goes out the back to check and 3 days later returns to advise me that "we seem to run out of stock". I think I got there about 6 weeks before you were born, matey!

So No 1 frustration. Never mind - off to Comet.

Now I should explain that we bought a 2 phone Panasonic kit that they sell as a single phone with answerphone, the two phone (main one and an extension), and a 3 and 4 option (i.e main phone with 2 and 3 extensions). But you can buy single extension phones so if you don't want to buy 3 or 4 phones but want to see whether it worked (as we did) you can extend later - and that's what we wanted to do - we wanted to buy another extension. And they had the extension phones on display. But we couldn't find one in a box - so we asked Mr Man2 if he had them in stock.

"Oh we don't stock the extension," he says with a grin on his face!

"Why not?" says I

"Just think how many we would have to stock if we did that for every phone we sell" he replied and waltzed off to frustrate another customer. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE IDEA THAT YOU STOCK THINGS THAT PEOPLE WANT??

So frustration 2. So guess what - I have purchased the software from Amazon and will buy the phone on line from Panasonic. And shopkeepers wonder why people buy off the Internet!!

Oh - and we were running very low on petrol - so stopped at my local petrol station to fill up and half their pumps were out of order - I could by high octane gas at vastly inflated prices but for ordinary petrol I would have to queue. So I went home instead!

Perhaps Friday will be better?!

Sunday 27 March 2011

Thanks for all your good wishes

It's been about 7 weeks since my last post and I have been inundated by my fans imploring me to restart posting Morgan's Mutterings.

OK - so it was you TW who said why had I stopped and you JR who said the same thing - so not actually inundated - but 100% of my followers have asked me to restart - so I will!

And my first comment is why are Merc controls so complicated? All I wanted to do was to change the clock for the extra hour as BST starts - simple? Nope! Everytime I got into the menus I pressed the button that seemed to be the right one and ended back outside the menus! Eventually I got in and changed it - in digital format - but the clock itself didn't change.

So checked the manual - back in again into the menu, added the hour - and reduced the mintes by 3 (it was a few minutes fast) and pressed the reset button as instructed. The clock hands literally wound back by about 5 hours and then wound forward by 5 hours less 3 minutes!

So got the minutes right but it seemed to ignore the extra hour I added! So tried again - and again the hands wound back about 5 hours and then wound forward (automatically) by another 5 hours! Why? Didn't make sense.

Still - now correct - just need to find out how to get out of the menu option now!!

Thursday 3 February 2011

Our train's bust!!

Oh dear! Virgin train from Glasgow broke down about a mile north of Stafford - brakes suddenly locked on! We knew it was serious when the engines were turned off, the lights were dimmed and all went very quiet! I'm just glad I was on a Virgin train and not a Virgin flight!!! Yikes!!

However - to be fair to Virgin, we limped into Stafford station and they got another train to Stafford within about 20-25 minutes. I couldn't work out where they had the spare train and driver ready for such an event until it actually arrived. Our train heading south from Glasgow to Birmingham was on the north end of platform 6 and the "spare" train came heading north into the south end of Platform 6. It was then I worked it out.

That train detials said it was going to Glasgow - so once stopped a couple of hundred passengers disembarked and rushed up the platform to get onto our old train - meanwhile the 5 remaining passengers for Birmingham (everyone else had jumped onto other trains heading out of Stafford) headed for their old train - and within a few minutes we were on our way - 5 of us in a 5 coach train!!

So we got sorted but what happened to the couple of hundred who got on our train who were heading for Glasgow? If the brakes were jammed on where was that training going? I suggested to one of the Virgin staff maybe because it is a two engined train (one at the front and one at the back) it could go back the way it came using the engine at the other end - but she said the brakes went throughout the train - so maybe they're now sitting on our old train wondering why everything is so quiet and they haven't left Stafford!! Could be a long wait!

Anyone got a spare steam engine!!!

Glasgow's finest?

Had an hour spare at Glasgow central station before catching train home today so went to the old Glasgow Grand Station Hotel - originally built in 1880's and just reopened after major refurb. Champagne bar (no - doesn't only serve bubbly) is excellent - however that wasn't the Glasgow's finest - that was reserved for the 4 ladies who came in and sat on the next table in the lounge.

They were dripping with furs and obviously "well heeled"! Got through a bottle of pink champers in less time than it will take me to write this and were all leaning well forward to discuss (confidentially) all their interests.

But the one that really struck me was the lady with long, very well styled white (grey or blond??) hair - probably in her 60's - whose well manicured finger nails were so long I was surprised she didn't poke her eye our when she blew her nose, and who's coat probably cost more that this laptop!

She wore 36" heels (OK I exaggerate a bit) with huge bows on the shoes and a skirt far too short for a lady of her age - oh and her coat, shoes etc where the same tint as her hair!

She probably thought she was the "bees knees" but I just felt she would have looked better if she had not tried to look 20 years younger than she was and had checked the mirror before she had come out!

I'm sure she is a very nice lady - just struck me as someone who was shouting "look at me" - trouble is I think everyone did and then thought "what the heck...."

Oh well - it takes all sorts!!

Wednesday 2 February 2011

On (another) train

This time going from Birmingham to Glasgow. Nice in 1st class (and if you buy your ticket in advance and with a railcard cheaper than standard 2nd class!) - even get wine!

So I'm sitting here, with my Virgin lunch (cheese sarnie and bag of crisps) and the lady in charge of the carriage says "Would you like a cold drink?"

"Yes please," says I, "could I have a glass of white wine?"

"White?" she confirms?

"Yes please!"

- she then walks the rest of the carriage (4 seats - no-one else there), turns - and stops by me and says "Did you say white or red?"

"White" I repeat for the third time!!

Good job they give you a tumbler full!

Listening is a skill we can ALL practice!

Oh, by the way - she brought red!!!

Sunday 23 January 2011

Rip off Britain strikes again!

Cheap flights ain't what they used to be!! Recently I booked flights for 5 of us to go to Germany for Brother in Law's wedding in June. Remarkably we got the flights for about £17 each outbound and a mere £7 inbound (total £24 each). But then taxes and fees put them up to £75 each!

Still not too bad until you realise that a bag in the hold is another £28 each way, and if you want to check in at the airport check in desk it's another £14 each way! Not only that, if you wanted to reserve seats together is was a further £5.50 each - each way (£9.50 if you want an aisle seat with a bit more leg room).

But the final insult was when I booked by credit card. Now most of us are used to getting "stung" by a £2.50 or £3 credit card charge but this company stated:
  • No booking fees apply when paying with VISA Electron
  • For all other card types a booking fee per person per flight of £3.00 is applied
  • Credit card supplement is £1.50per person per flight
So although I was paying for all 5 of us (so 10 flights) with ONE credit card transaction, they charged me £3 plus £1.50 per flight - so that added a fee of £45 just becasue I paid by credit card! What a rip off. I shan't use that company again!

Friday 21 January 2011

Using you vote to get the government to change

Wouldn't it be nice if we could say to the politicians "Do this" or "Sort that out...and I'll vote for you" - and actually think it would happen? If it isn't the case now it certainly used to be! My late Father in Law was a bit of a hoarder and after he passed away we discovered all sorts of things including a copy of "Country Life" magazine of July 14th 1928. In it was an advert entitled "The Art of Not Voting" sponsored by Haig Whiskey, which stated:

"Politicians pay no attention to persons whose votes are pledged. If you require attention you should keep your vote in your pocket and only give it in return for a difinite promise...many thousands of people - especially in Scotland - will not vote for any government that will not rectify the admittedly unfair tax on Scotch Whiskey which is improperly restricting the Home section of a fine British industry. 8/51/2d tax per bottle is a grossly unfair tax. It means that

PROHIBITION HAS BEEN IMPOSED ON ALL BUT WELL-TO-DO PEOPLE.

This movement to "hold up" votes is spreading all over the country. It is the only method available of expressing discontent in an effective manner. We who continue fighting for an abatement of the Whiskey duty wish this movement success."

Strikes me we should do something like this about taxes on petrol - and VAT - and tax on wine and beer - not to mention income tax. Or better still the petrol companies should! Of course it wouldn't do any good - and I don't suppose this campaign did either. But at least it might make us feel better!

Tuesday 11 January 2011

Trains are not what they used to be!

I suppose that's pretty obvious really - now nice quiet, warm, smooth etc and with internet in the train - but totally souless. Bring back the steam locos of my youth - that's what I say.

Am travelling today from Brum to London via Virgin Trains. Managed to get a great deal on First Class with my OGR (Old Gits Railcard) - well there has to be some benefit in passing the 60 level (apart from the winter fuel allowance that is) BUT there is no hot catering on this service - disgusting - so no free (veggie) full breakfast - what is the world coming to?

And now they have announced delays of up to 15 minutes due to the wrong points near Milton Keynes - sure it was never like this in the gool old (steam) days! I remember stanidng by the side of the line watching the Devonian with a Jubilee class and jotting down the number...Oh! I think I just gave away a closely guarded secret that I was a train spotter. Please don't hold it against me!!

Motorway speed (or lack of) and Radio 2 (AHHH!)

Aren't we lucky to have such a vast motorway network that lets you get virtually anywhere quickly? Well that's the idea - but half the time it doesn't work. Yesterday, driving from home to Aylesbury, the first 55 miles are all motorway - and managed an average speed of 31 mph! There was no snow, no fog, no accidents (that I saw), but lots of outside lane hugging! The last 20 odd miles - all single track A roads - helped lift the average speed to 35 by the time I got there.

And as for the Radio 2 traffic reports - they were worse than useless. Near the M42/M40 junction they said there was some traffic congestion by Warwick services (junction 12) and some south of junction 9 (Oxford - and the junction where I was leaving the motorway anyway) - due to earlier accidents BUT both had been cleared. They failed to mention the fact that you would end up stationery at Junction 15!

By the time we got through that the Radio 2 traffic said that there was now no problem on M40 - but I was stopped again by Junction 12. After that eventually cleared, and with Radio 2 Lady saying all clear I thought I was OK - nope - Junctions 10 to 9 was totally start/stop.

Once I had LEFT at junction 9 they advised me that there was some congestion between 10 and 9! Some congestion? It was a CAR PARK!

I HATE QUEUES AND MOTORWAYS AND OUTSIDE LANE HUGGERS!!

Lesson: Either don't use motorways or find alternative routes on A roads - on average would be quicker!!I Alternatively why not buy an ex army TANK - that should help get through (over) the traffic jams!

Friday 7 January 2011

Kodak Printers

The current Kodak advert on TV suggests that the Kodak printer cratridges save you money because they last longer - well they certainly lasted longer than the Kodak printer I bought 5 weeks ago that has already packed up!! But the cartridges have still got ink in so that's OK isn't it?!

To be fair to Kodak they did get me a replacement within 48 hours - after waiting for nearly 30 minutes on the end of a phone that is - and the replacement didn't work to start with either!! Another 20 minutes on the phone and this one is working - but for how long?

But I have learnt a huge lesson from this episode. I am someone who often leaves printing until the last moment - what a mistake to make!! Fortunately this time I could get the prints I needed done in the office - but imagine if it was something urgent - like you book advance tickets on BRail then have to print out your on line booking as a "ticket" for the day of travel. Imagine having booked it and then you can't print it - dragging your PC onto the train to try and prove you actually did book your seat might be a little difficult!!

So in future I will print things as soon as I have completed them and not leave it until the last minute (might pay to buy a couple of spare printers as well!!)