If all else fails - don't read the manual!

I admit that I often don't read manuals - at least not until I'm totally confused - and sometimes that's quite quickly - especially if I'm trying to build something like a piece of flat packed furniture. But sometimes "instructions" are just so wonderful. Friends James and Dana gave me a mug at the weekend with "I (heart) Spreadsheets" on the front and on the box there were "instructions" (I kid you not).

The "Instructions for use" read "Fill up mug with beverage of choice. Drink"

I'm so glad they did that otherwise I would have never worked it out!

Reminds me of when I got stuck in USA (thanks to plane delays) with no luggage - so I ended up going to the local shopping mall in Philadelphia to buy some pants - and the pack had instructions for use on them! It said, "place left foot through garment, then put right foot through, pull over knees, up to waist. Stand with hands on hips and feel good"! No joke - it really did.

And I followed the instructions to the letter - but it didn't work. You see it never said "Remove trousers..." first - so I ended up looking like Superman but with boxers on!

And the lesson here - sometimes common sense is more valuable than written instructions!

O dear what can the matter be, David Morgan's locked in the lavatory!!

Yes - actually happened - I got locked in the loo! It was Saturday night and I had popped into the loo - and hadn't locked the door - never do - but just shut it - but when I came to turn the handle to get out it just turned and turned and turned! As it happened my mobile was still in a pouch on my belt so I was able to call my wife who was watching "Strictly..." downstairs. She didn't believe me! So I had to persuade her to come up the stairs and try the door. Only then did she accept that I wasn't just trying to stop her watching "Strictly..."!

Eventually, once we had removed the spindle and she had passed me a nail file through the spindle hole I was able to partly push the latch in as she pushed the door and I was free!!

But it did make me wonder - suppose that had happened when she had gone to a dog show, was going to be out all day, the dogs were loose in the run (and would have started barking), and I had somewhere to go? I could have been in there for hours.

So the moral (and lesson) is - either keep a rope ladder in the loo - or more sensibly - don't shut the door especially when you're on your own.

Value what you have Part 2

On October 5th I wrote "Value what you have" as I talked about my father in law as he was ill in hospital. Sadly one month later, on Friday November 5th he passed away. He will be (he is) sadly missed.

Dave